TL/DR:

"Spare time" doesn't exist. If you're waiting for it to show up before you do something fun, you could be waiting your whole life.
How you talk about your time affects your reality, your experience of your time. Words matter.
You're dealt 24 hours a day and no one can “do it all”. Accepting that is what frees you to make choices that serve you.
Making time for what matters means giving something else up. Pick your tradeoffs on purpose.
The question to ask yourself: is there any way to make the time for this right now? Today? This week?

The Whole Shebang:

Recently a friend left me a message. We’d been playing phone tag for days. In his message, he apologized for not getting back to me sooner and made the offhand comment that he “just doesn’t have any spare time”.

But his comment made me think.

Who among us has “spare time”?

No one.

Now, I know what my friend meant. This phrase was just shorthand. He meant to convey that he’s busy and that he feels the majority of his time is going towards obligations.

But how you talk about your time affects your reality, your experience of your time.

(Just like your kindergarten teacher told you, “words matter”.)

If you’re waiting for spare time to do the things that are important to you (or simply fun!), then you may well be waiting your whole life.

“Spare time” doesn’t exist. (For most of us at least.) So, it’s time to stop waiting for it to show up.

There’s this quote that I have loved since the moment I saw it because it rings so true.:

So yeah, things aren’t going to just slow down. “Spare time” isn’t going to miraculously appear before you.

But just because “spare time” doesn’t exist, does that mean you’re shackled to a lifetime of hard work and no fun?

Of course not!

It just means that you might need to get a little more intentional. Because it’s up to you to make decisions about how you spend your time.

It’s up to you to decide if the things you wish you had time for are things you’re actually willing to make time for.

I hear the following a lot:

“I’d exercise more…if only I had the time.”
“I’d read more…if only I had the time.”
“I’d play more…if only I had the time.”

So, here’s my question to you:

**Are you going to wait for that time to arrive? Or are you going to make the time to do things you enjoy, the things you’d do “if you had time”?**

The next time you tell yourself you’ll delay happiness until you have time to experience things that make you happy, I want you to ask yourself:

“Is there any way that I can make the time for this right now? Today? This week?

Someday may never come. But you’re here right now.

Does this mean you won’t have to make hard choices?

Nope, it most certainly does not.

Unfortunately, we can’t make more time. We’re dealt the time we’ve got. And that’s 24 hours a day.

Often, you get stuck thinking you can do it all and feeling bad when you can’t.

But you can’t do it all. At least not right now. So, IMHO it makes more sense to accept that reality, so you can move into action.

If you want to make time for the stuff that really matters, the stuff that makes you feel like you’ve had a good day, an enjoyable day, you may have to give up some other things.

Here are some examples of the tradeoffs I make in my own life:

It’s my kids’ responsibility to clean the kitchen. Is it up to my cleanliness standards? Not usually. But if I get to watch some TV and crochet in the evening instead of having a spotless kitchen, that’s what I choose.
I could be available to my clients on evenings and weekends. And this might make things easier for them. But I’d be giving up the value that I get from disconnecting from work on evenings and weekends. And not only do I enjoy being disconnected, I think it makes me better at my job.
I could volunteer every time I’m asked by my kids’ schools. But if I did so, I’d have a lot less time for reading, cooking, the pottery studio and the other things I enjoy. I do volunteer. Just not every time. Not even most of the time.

I can’t give all my time to others and still expect to have time for me.

And to that end, here’s another quote that hit me hard when I first saw it:

That friend of mine I mentioned at the top, the one who left the message? Well, we did eventually connect. We made time for each other. It certainly wasn’t an obligation, but we did it anyway. Not because we had to, but because we wanted to.

It’s up to you to decide how you’ll spend the most valuable resource you have: your time.

If not now, when?

And if you’re not sure how to get started using your time in your own best interests, here are 4 ways we can work together:

Download the Do More, Stress Less App
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Enroll in the Time Well Spent course
Bite-sized, shame-free steps to take control of your time, and your life. Built for real people with big lives, big jobs, or both.
Learn more, or enroll here.
Level up with 1:1 Coaching
High-touch coaching for people managers, leaders, executives and founders who need a trusted partner to streamline priorities, manage the overwhelm, and focus on what moves the needle most.
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Customized workshops and trainings to help your team improve productivity without burnout and create a culture where people (actually) thrive.
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You Don't Need More Time. You Need Fewer Yeses.