How to actually start that hobby you keep putting in the “someday” category
Photo by Esma Nur Tetik
TL/DR:
Waiting for free time to show up doesn’t work; you don’t “find time”, you make it.
Your hobbies bring you joy, so they earn a spot on your calendar like any other commitment.
For 5 (realistic) ways to fit a hobby into your already full life, read on.
The Whole Shebang:
“I really want to take a painting class, but I think painting is a “future thing”; maybe when my kids are off to college”, she said in the group chat.
Her youngest kid will be in college in about 10 years.
There are 7 of us in this chat, all coaches or consultants of one flavor or another, and one of them, an avid gardener, had asked about hobbies. Everyone already knows my main hobby is ceramics (because I can’t shut up about it) but I was curious to see what others were up to.
And then came the painting class comment.
And, because I literally could not help myself (what can I say? I’m a yapper to the nth degree), and because I’m very “solution-oriented” (much to the chagrin of my sister, who often needs to remind me that she was just venting and isn’t ready for problem-solving thankyouverymuch), I started offering suggestions as to how my dear friend might be able to take a painting class well before her kids are in college.
If you’re waiting for free time to magically appear so you can finally crochet, garden, tinker, or take a basket-weaving class, it’s probably not going to happen (at least until retirement, or your kids are in college, or both).
There’s always another work email.
Another pile of laundry.
Another form to be filled out.
A sink full of dishes.
A meal to be cooked.
But here’s the thing: your joy matters.
And if your hobbies bring you joy, or if you don’t have hobbies yet but think they’ll bring you joy, then they deserve space on your calendar as much as (or more than!) the things like meetings, doctor’s appointments, and dishes (which don’t bring that same level of joy, at least for me).
And as cliché as it is to say, you don’t find time, you make it.
So how do you actually make time for a hobby in your busy, over-scheduled, real life?
1. Add it to your calendar
I promise scheduling it won’t drain the fun out of it.
You can’t just wait for the perfect pocket of time to appear. Because it won’t.
But what you could do is treat your hobby like any other commitment. (It’s just that this time, it’s a commitment to yourself!)
Adding it to your calendar doesn’t make you a rigid bore.
It just means you take your commitment (to fun!) seriously.
2. Routine-ize it!
If your hobby takes you out of the house, and you have caregiving duties, making it regular can make it easier to get the care covered.
That way:
You’re not asking for the time every week
No one feels surprised
You can plan around it, meaning fewer “just this time” exceptions
If you’re partnered, and you’re not sure your partner will be on board, suggest a recurring time trade:
You get a couple of hours each week for you time
They get a couple of hours of them time
Nobody gets resentful, and everyone gets a break
3. Use different strategies for different hobbies
Not all hobbies are created equal (at least logistically).
Some hobbies can be done at home with minimal set up (like knitting, reading, etc.).
Some hobbies decidedly can’t (like rock climbing, or salsa dancing classes).
Once you’re clear on what your hobby needs, you can better plan for it.
For instance: When my kids were little, I mostly crocheted and knitted, things I could do while sitting next to a kid playing on the floor.
Now that they’re older, I go to the pottery studio regularly. And it’s on my calendar (see strategy #1 :) )
4. Use forcing functions
If you’re struggling to follow through or just know you need that external accountability to make it happen, try a forcing function:
Sign up for a class
Join a group
Do it with a friend
Or your kid! (If, that is, it’s something you think you’d enjoy doing with your kids; kids can be fantastic accountability parters because they don’t suffer hypocrites!)
A forcing function makes it hard to bail (since you’ll be out money, or letting someone down if you do.)
5. Consider Replacement
Truth be told, my friend, the one who plans to start painting when her kids go to college, well, she wasn’t into any of these ideas. She said that right now, her life just feels too full, and she doesn’t want to add a “fun” thing only to have it start to feel like and obligation. Totally valid.
But I’ve been meaning to get back to her because I can’t believe I failed to mention THIS strategy:
If there’s something that feels like a “heck, yes”, but you don’t have time in your schedule for it, you can ask yourself “Is there anything I could stop doing to make time for this thing I want to do?”
If yes, woo hoo, you just upgraded your time satisfaction quotient by replacing something on your schedule that brought you less joy, with something that will bring you more.
And if no, well, then waiting might very well be the right decision.
I know I want more joy in my life. Don’t you?!
So don’t fool yourself into believing you don’t have the agency to make it happen.
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