What to do when you realize you can't do it all
TL/DR:
You can’t be great at everything all the time
Let some things be “C+” so others can be “A+”
It’s not forever; it’s for this season
Choose what to intentionally “half-ass” to reduce stress; being intentional feels way better than feeling behind
The Whole Shebang:
As a devout Grey’s Anatomy fan (honestly, I’ve never met a medical drama I didn’t fall for; judge if you must), this past summer I read Shonda Rhimes’ memoir, “Year of Yes”.
In it, she says something I wish more people would be willing to admit.
Or perhaps recognize.
Shonda tells the story of being ask how she “does it all”.
And her response:
“I don’t.”
She then follows that up with some real life examples:
When she’s succeeding at writing a script, she’s not devoting her full attention to her kids.
When she leaves the office early to have dinner with her kids, she knows that work is piling up.
The same is true for you.
And for me.
(And if you don’t have kids, replace that word with whatever else is meaningful for you outside of work.)
You cannot “do it all”.
At least not all at the same time.
You can’t be an “A” student in all aspects of life, all at the same time.
At least, if you don’t want to burnout.
And so I present you with “the case for deliberate half-assing”.
Because everything feels better when it’s intentional, when it’s a choice.
Since you can’t “whole-ass” everything all at once (and also sleep), what if you decided what on what you’re willing to “half-ass”?
And you don’t have to decide forever, just for this season, this month, this week.
What if you choose some areas of your life to deliberately, intentionally, half-ass until the end of the year?
I’ll go first:
I’m going to half-ass weekend lunches for my family. We can have leftovers, sandwiches, frozen tamales, whatever, but I’m not going to make a whole-ass meal for lunch.
I’m half-assing the annual photo calendar for the grandparents. (I’ll do a single pass of photos from the year, drop them into Shutterfly and be done with it.)
(And, let’s be real, I’m zero-assing holidays cards, as always. I just don’t do them. Thank you to all the people who still send me cards even though I never reciprocate!)
I’m half-assing Thanksgiving. Yes, I’ll roast the prime rib (we don’t do turkey), but I’ve already told others they can do the sides.
And, if “half-assing” feels too crass, remember it as “Don’t let the perfect me the enemy of the good” or “Done is better than perfect”.
What about you? Is there an area (or 3!) where you’re willing to intentionally half-ass at least for a little bit?
It feels a lot better when it’s on purpose!
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